.

Have I ever been this mad?

No.

It all began when we were 4 years old and were in kindergarten together. Teacher said we should hang out because we were dreamers, she could see that from our big round heads.
And so a friendship sort of began. Of course we had fights and 'you are not invited to my birthday party' moments, but most of the time it was a happy and strong friendship. We trusted each other blindly and told each other everything.

Then high school came. She went to a different high school then me and it was one big fat drama. We felt like our life was over and we would never see each other, our best friend, again.
But we did see each other and it was all nice again.

Along the way we made new friends, started a band and had a lot of ups and downs. That happens when puberty kicks in, you get a lot of those ups and downs.
With me the world of mood swings, hating and loving everybody and everything at the same time and being a lousy friend came at 16.
Went away again.

Now it's her turn and everything becomes one big fat soap with a lot of question marks.

'But you said this and that'
'I don't understand what you are saying'
'hu?'
'I'm mad at you anyway'
'Well I'm mad at you too'

And then there is this HUGE bulk of the thing I hate so much when it is too big; INSECURITY!
Oh yeah, that's just the cherry, the size of an apple, on top of the teenage cake.
I think insecurity is the thing that ruins people or holds them back from doing anything that is big.
I'm not going to say I'm not insecure, because I am, everyone is. But there is this point when it's just standing in the way of accomplishing anything in your life.
And now I'm talking about her.

I just hate it when stupid things ruin a friendship that is almost 14(!!!) years old. That is as old as my little brother is now.

I wanted to forgive her for all the stupid things she did and said, if she made some effort of course.

Now, she said she was not going to let me ruin her life any more.

I may be stupid but I really don't know where the fuck she is talking about. It's also the meanest, nastiest and most hurtful thing someone ever said to me. EVER.

So fuck you my dear 'friend' I don't ever have to talk to you again.

February's 5th

WISHLIST

I know, it's nowhere near my birthday and I have almost no money, but I can still have a wishlist.

- NEW JEANS
- Furry leopard clothing (skirt or top whatever)
- Tight black skirt (one that doesn't make me look fat)
- Lace thigh high stockings
- Fishnets
- A cool (fake) leather jacket
- Creepers
- Leopard blouse
- David Bowie shirt
- Shoes with glitter
- Pink clothes
- Baby blue clothes
- A new gitarist...(!!!)
- BABY BLUE HAIR!!!!!!!!!

Spoiled brat I am..want this want that. Don't care.

Jeepers Creepers

WANT!

ZOMBIES!

FUCK