Shades of cool

I can not wait for the new album of Lana del Rey. I've been loving her music for a couple years now and everytime I think I' m over it she comes with some song that amazes me and I can relate to so much. The song 'Shades of Blue', which she released yesterday I think, is almost scary suitable for things I recently experienced.

My baby lives in shades of blue
Blue eyes and jazz and aptitude
He lives in California too
He drives a chevy Malibu

And when he calls
He calls for me and not for you

He lives for love, he loves his drugs
He loves his baby too

But I can't fix him, can't make him better
And I can't do nothing about his strange weather

But you are invincible
I can't break through your world'
Cause you live in shades of cool
Your heart is unbreakable

My baby lives in shades of cool
Blue heart and hands and aptitude
He lives for love, for women, too
I'm one of many, one is blue

And when he calls

He calls for me and not for you
He prays for love, he prays for peace
And maybe someone new

But I can't help him, can't make him better
And I can't do nothing about his strange weather

'Cause you are invincible 
I can't break through your world
'Cause you live in shades of cool
Your heart is unbreakable

'Cause you are invincible
I can't break through your world'
Cause you live in shades of cool
Your heart is unbreakable

King And Queen Of Disaster

X

Still obsessed: Lana Del Rey

I've been obsessing over Lana Del Rey for almost a year now and just when I've listened to it too much, she announces a new album! Born To Die The Paradise Edition. And of course the HnM campaign and commercial where she sings Blue Velvet. What's not to love? I can not wait for the new album! She made a preview video and for what I can hear it's going to be good. Out with the halfway hiphop/rnb high pitched singing and in with the dark and deep dreamy jazz (that's the best way I can describe it I guess). She also put out a full song; Ride. Enough blablabla, see and hear it  for yourself!

        

  

Do you like it?

Summertime Sadness

Going through a hard time. Again.
It seems like hard times are paused by a sort of good time my whole life thru. Like the weekend in a week. Still there are 7 days in a week and 2 of them are weekend.

One big problem is caused by myself but I don' t really know how to solve it. That is that I loose and break all my stuff (ID card that I just got and stolen telephone), I forget things I have to do and never clean my house. Together this is my one big problem; Chaos in my head.

Then another very very very big problem is that I have no place to live. In September I have to leave my house and I have nowhere to go. I figured I' m not going to find anything within a month so I' m going to leave this week so I don' t have to pay my rent over August.

So that' s a lot to think about all the time and then on top of it I' m fighting constantly with Boris. When we fight and he says he never wants to see me again my brain crashes. I brake things and harm him and I hate myself for doing that. I ripped his jacket I gave to him as a birthday present.

It seems like every summer I just get terribly depressed and i don' t even know why. I just want to live in a nice small appartement that I can decorate myself and live with Boris.
I want it to be neat and I will have a set place for everything so I can't loose anything.
I also want to fall asleep next to Boris every night after I have cooked for him and don' t fight anymore.

But life's a fucking bitch isn't she?

 

Again Saturday night

I really used to love the weekend.
Now I don' t really care about it anymore.
Friday nights my sweet Boris usually tries to take me out, I won' t go, whine a LOT and it ends up in a fight. Drama crying fighting etc.
Then the Saturday nights usually are me on my own sitting behind the computer. I kind of enjoy it though. I don' t even have a computer and I get a but of extra night rest.
This evening I' m a bit disappointed though. I thought I was going to have a really long night wiv mah gurlz. One of them was tired and the other one got a text from her parents if she was coming home. In parent language that obviously means ' come home right now.

If it wasn't like minus 18 degrees outside I would go out.

I' m in love with my Cruella hair! I can be blonde or dark or both whenever I want. It' s great for up do' s.



I' m a bit anxious lately 'cause me and my friend Lot got robbed last monday evening. It was super scary and now I just realize things like that can happen like all the time. Maybe paranoid is a better word than anxious. It will pass though.
Still feeling a lot better than I did around new year' s.

Having a bit of trouble with Boris though.
I don' t know, we fight a lot and sometimes it get' s worse and sometimes it gets better. Still I don' t worry too much.. I'm not saying it doesn't bother me but I have this feeling that we love each other so much that it wil blow over and it doesn't matter anymore.
I think that if we break or something we will be automatically be drawn back together. Maybe it' s naive but that' s the way it feels.

Been listening Lana Del Rey' s album Born To Die the whole evening. Not all the songs are good but I like the whole sound of the album. Probably the closest to 'hip hop' I' ll ever come.

I think to much on nights like this. And then I start writing..

Also want to tell you about my 'countryside urge'.
I' m a real city girl but lately I have an urge to get out of the city. To have nothing to do (nothing to drink). Just peace and quiet. I am old...
At the same time I am dying to go back to Berlin.
I think I' m mostly longing to spend some quality time with Boris. Real time. Not between work and sleeping time.

And now I'm done. Wrote down things I had on my chest, and it feels nice.

Boris, if you ever read this.. I love you to death and you' re my everything and I really wish I could show you more of that.


x

Lana Del Rey

I am in love with this girl's voice!