Again Saturday night

I really used to love the weekend.
Now I don' t really care about it anymore.
Friday nights my sweet Boris usually tries to take me out, I won' t go, whine a LOT and it ends up in a fight. Drama crying fighting etc.
Then the Saturday nights usually are me on my own sitting behind the computer. I kind of enjoy it though. I don' t even have a computer and I get a but of extra night rest.
This evening I' m a bit disappointed though. I thought I was going to have a really long night wiv mah gurlz. One of them was tired and the other one got a text from her parents if she was coming home. In parent language that obviously means ' come home right now.

If it wasn't like minus 18 degrees outside I would go out.

I' m in love with my Cruella hair! I can be blonde or dark or both whenever I want. It' s great for up do' s.



I' m a bit anxious lately 'cause me and my friend Lot got robbed last monday evening. It was super scary and now I just realize things like that can happen like all the time. Maybe paranoid is a better word than anxious. It will pass though.
Still feeling a lot better than I did around new year' s.

Having a bit of trouble with Boris though.
I don' t know, we fight a lot and sometimes it get' s worse and sometimes it gets better. Still I don' t worry too much.. I'm not saying it doesn't bother me but I have this feeling that we love each other so much that it wil blow over and it doesn't matter anymore.
I think that if we break or something we will be automatically be drawn back together. Maybe it' s naive but that' s the way it feels.

Been listening Lana Del Rey' s album Born To Die the whole evening. Not all the songs are good but I like the whole sound of the album. Probably the closest to 'hip hop' I' ll ever come.

I think to much on nights like this. And then I start writing..

Also want to tell you about my 'countryside urge'.
I' m a real city girl but lately I have an urge to get out of the city. To have nothing to do (nothing to drink). Just peace and quiet. I am old...
At the same time I am dying to go back to Berlin.
I think I' m mostly longing to spend some quality time with Boris. Real time. Not between work and sleeping time.

And now I'm done. Wrote down things I had on my chest, and it feels nice.

Boris, if you ever read this.. I love you to death and you' re my everything and I really wish I could show you more of that.


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